


echoy'la

by MageOfCole



Series: Cole Does Comfortember 2020 [11]
Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Prequel Trilogy, Star Wars: The Clone Wars (2008) - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Autistic Obi-Wan Kenobi, CC-2224 | Cody Needs a Hug, CC-2224 | Cody isn't in the Empire, Clone Troopers Deserve Better (Star Wars), Clones Have Kiwi Accents, Dead Anakin Skywalker | Darth Vader, Established Relationship, Found Family, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Mandalorian Clone Troopers (Star Wars), Mandos from Concord Dawn have Kiwi Accents, Obi-Wan Kenobi Gets a Hug, Obi-Wan Kenobi Needs a Hug, Obi-Wan Kenobi Raises Leia Organa, Obi-Wan Kenobi Raises Luke Skywalker, Order 66 Happened Differently (Star Wars), Post-Order 66 (Star Wars), Trans Obi-Wan Kenobi, Worried CC-2224 | Cody, the jedi deserved better
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-22
Updated: 2020-12-22
Packaged: 2021-03-11 04:27:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,405
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28249107
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MageOfCole/pseuds/MageOfCole
Summary: (mourning)The Republic was gone, the Sith Lord had won, and everyone was dead. Obi-Wan doesn’t even have the energy to cry anymore, and it's only because he haspeople that needed him that he can keep moving, trying to focus on what he still has.(No.22 - Kisses (Romantic or Platonic))
Relationships: CC-2224 | Cody/Obi-Wan Kenobi, Obi-Wan Kenobi & Anakin Skywalker
Series: Cole Does Comfortember 2020 [11]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1998382
Comments: 24
Kudos: 238





	echoy'la

**Author's Note:**

  * For [aroacejoot](https://archiveofourown.org/users/aroacejoot/gifts).



The hum of the hyperdrive is too loud in Obi-Wan’s ears, deafening in the silence of his mind and a vice around his chest, making it hard to breathe. The pain reminds him too much of a binder, pinching and painful in all the wrong places and impossible to ignore. He wants to rip away the bandages keeping his ribs in place, and screw the consequences.

What does it matter anyways? They’re all _gone_ , dead and their bodies abandoned like they were nothing more than trash. Obi-Wan had failed them, his pain means nothing in the face of his massacred culture and genocided people. They had died because Obi-Wan had failed. Anakin had Fallen, the Jedi were slaughtered and the clones were enslaved by a chip in their heads. The Republic was gone, the Sith Lord had won, and everyone was dead.

Obi-Wan doesn’t even have the energy to cry anymore, he hadn’t been able to shed a tear since he’d watched Padme die, holding her newborn son in his arms. That had been when everything had boiled over and he couldn't keep it at bay anymore. He had screamed, he had sobbed, and it was only because he still had people that needed him that he had been able to pull himself together and keep moving, trying to focus on what he still had instead of what he had lost.

He still has Luke and Leia, two newborn orphans who had lost everything before they were even aware of themselves, and who shine so brightly in the Force that not even Anakin could compare. They didn’t know the Darkness of the Galaxy like their father had always known, they’re Light and innocent and so fragile. They’re in danger, Obi-Wan knows, because the Sith Lord sits on the throne of an Empire he built in his own image, and he lost his Apprentice on Mustafar; Anakin’s children would be the perfect replacements, and Obi-Wan can’t fail them the same way he failed everyone else.

And _Cody_ \- dear, wonderful Cody who had lost the only things he had ever had. Cody who didn’t know all the wonderful things the world had to offer him, who was created to serve, created to die, but who chose to keep living. He still has Cody, he had managed to save him despite all the odds, and Cody had chosen to stay, despite everything. Cody who had put his foot down and refused to let the twins be separated, who holds the newborns with such tenderness that it makes Obi-Wan ache. Cody loves him, despite everything, despite not deserving the trouble Obi-Wan brings with him. Cody deserves everything Obi-Wan can’t give him; he deserves freedom, a home, his brothers, and yet he had chosen Obi-Wan, who could offer him none of that. He had chosen running away with Obi-Wan, chosen to shed his identity and go into hiding, over working with Bail to rescue his brothers. Obi-Wan had tried to free him of the burden that he was, had tried to free Cody of him, but he had _refused_. He had clung to Obi-Wan and chosen him, and Obi-Wan, who was _never_ the one people _chose_ , who was never good enough, had clung back.

He gets attached too easily, and no matter how hard he tries, everything he loves dies. He isn’t a very good Jedi, but the Jedi are _gone_. He had trained the man who had betrayed them all and led an enslaved army on their home, he had missed all the warning signs, and now everyone is dead and the Dark had won.

With shaking hands, Obi-Wan grips at the too-tight spacer clothing Bail had given him to replace his ruined robes, at least until they could reach the safe house Obi-Wan had created during that painful stint masquerading as Rako Hardeen and trade them for something better. The fabric isn’t the familiar rough-spun but softly lined tunics he had worn for his entire life, and, despite being made for someone much taller than him, it feels too restricting. It lays on his body differently, rubs against his skin in ways that make his entire body itch like one giant rash, and it catches on the wrappings around his torso in ways that reminds him too much of those horrible years of puberty when his body was all wrong. It makes his breathing catch, makes him want to rip and tear until the feeling goes away, and he’s reeling. Every bond he’s ever had is gone, the Force is Dark and unwelcoming, and every coping mechanism he’d ever had is _gone_.

The doors to the quarters hiss open, loud in his panic, and Obi-Wan flinches back instinctively, slamming his eyes shut against the sudden burst of light and slapping his hands over his ears to try and shut out the sound.

“Obi-Wan? _Cyare_?” Cody’s soft, soothing voice is a balm against his aching mind, and Obi-Wan whimpers wordlessly in response, reaching out to him in the Force to drown himself in his former Commander’s steady presence. He could lose himself in Cody, could let the gentle pressure of Cody’s mind pull him out of his body and away from everything else. There’s so much love in him, for the twins, for his brothers, for _Obi-Wan_. “Can I touch you?” He asks gently.

 _Please_ , Obi-Wan doesn’t say, but he does nod, and the bed dips with Cody’s weight. The man’s warmth is already sinking into his bones, anchoring him in his body, and solid arms wrap around his shoulders, gently pulling Obi-Wan into a broad chest. Cody’s heart, faster and stronger than a baseline Human’s, beats against him, just as steady and comforting as Cody himself, and Cody presses their foreheads together, another point of contact that keeps Obi-Wan from falling apart into stardust.

“The _ik’aade_ are asleep.” Cody rumbles, his natural regional Concord Dawn accent deepening without the pressure on him to disguise it to please the natborns around him. It’s the voice he used with his brothers, and later he blessed Obi-Wan with hearing; it meant that he felt safe, that he trusts the people he’s with, and it’s needed for their disguises. “Artoo and Threepio are with them, they’ll let us know when they wake up.” Obi-Wan lets his voice wash over him, relaxing into his hold and shifting himself to perch on his lover’s lap. Strong, warm hands keep him steady, grip just tight enough to stop him from floating away. “I love you. I’m here, _cyare_. I have you.”

“They’re _gone_.” Obi-Wan whispers, voice wrecked, eyes sliding open to meet deep brown, and Cody stares back, his heartbreak echoed in his eyes. “Everything is so _Dark_.”

They’d both seen the Temple, seen the bodies of Jedi and clones alike strewn about and left to rot in the place Obi-Wan had once called home. They had seen the children Anakin had murdered. There had been no hesitation, no regret, just a single-minded determination to _kill_ . Obi-Wan still can’t fully comprehend it. He doesn’t understand _why_. He doesn’t know what they could have possibly done to Anakin that he’d kill them and their children without so much as blinking. He can’t understand how the sweet boy he had raised could have become the monster he had seen on Mustafar, who saw enemies in every shadow and who could choke the woman he claimed to have done everything for without hesitating.

Anakin had done terrible things, things Obi-Wan doesn’t know if he’d ever be able to forgive, and yet he still couldn’t help but love him.

“I’m sorry.” Cody murmurs, thumb rubbing a mindless, grounding pattern under his eye, his other hand gripping at Obi-Wan’s hip like a lifeline.

Only a day ago, those hands had held the blaster that had killed the man Obi-Wan had seen as his brother to protect him. He had done what Obi-Wan couldn’t do because he was too attached.

Finally, the tears Obi-Wan couldn’t cry spill over, dripping down pale cheeks and across Cody’s callused hands. They’re silent, accompanied only by his hitching breath in the darkness, and he leans further into the _mirshmure’cya_ Cody is offering.

“I love you.” Cody says again, rubbing their noses together and pressing their lips together in a sweet, tender kiss full of words unsaid and unvoiced promises. “A new hope will emerge, you said so yourself. We’ll figure this out, we always do.”


End file.
